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Thursday, June 29, 2006

Prime

Is it true that we peak in our 20s, and it's all downhill from there?

I just finished watching the movie "Proof" and it got me thinking. My academic life certainly went that way. My professional & personal life is heading that way too. Maybe I need to set more modest goals for myself.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Sobering Thoughts

Now that the festivities are over, it's time to reflect a bit. I consider myself immensely fortunate to be in a city and a country that espouses equality for all. It's not everywhere in the world that you find all tiers of government, law enforcement, public services, education and healthcare organizations come out and march in solidarity with the queer community. I never saw anything like this during my 8 years in DC.

The parade began with a sombre reminder that there are parts of the world today where people are persecuted, tortured or killed for who they are. Today we enjoy the fruits of many years of activism by brave individuals who swam against the tide and earned us a legitimate place in society. What took years to achieve could be undone in a matter of months. We must never take these rights of granted. Every new generation needs to remember that.

What does it mean to have a "Pride" parade in this day and age? A pride parade is a continuous reminder to the world that we exist. That the majority heterosexual population cannot afford to ignore us and erode away our rights. That we've been around for a long long time, and that we'll continue to be around forever. Today, at least in major Western cities, no one's afraid to strut around and be themselves in the gay ghettos. However, it takes a certain courage to uphold the same ideals when suddenly you're not in the majority anymore. It takes courage to show your face to the world. That's what Pride is all about.

Five Seconds of Fame



During my days in the closet, I'd avoid obviously gay events like Pride fests, for fear of being seen, or worse still accidentally ending up in a newspaper photo. I opened today's Toronto Star, jumped to page A9, which featured a full-page spread on the Pride Parade. And there I was! On the sidelines. Smiling at the excellent photo op presented by the "lady" in white, on a shiny red car. Standing next to me is my dear friend S, who fought a hangover to come watch the parade with me.

Surreal


This video almost has a Zen-like quality, if you watch it with the right mindset.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Weekend Update

I'm chilling in my living room, feet up on the ottoman, wishing I had a personal masseuse at my beck and call. My lower extremeties hurt like hell. It's been a tiring, but fun weekend. The Pride festival rages on outside my windows.

Today I witnessed one of the longest, largest Pride parades ever. Yonge St was elaborately cordoned off. Shirtless men & women were strategically located on sidewalks, streets, balconies throughout. The porn studio had a rooftop party full of hot men with squirt guns aimed at the crowds. I clawed my way to a decent spot by the fence, camera in hand. Droves of proud people walked by in some of the most outrageous outfits, dancing, singing, yelling, having a good time. The local government came out in full support. I stood by watching the mayor, local MPs, police chiefs, mounties, city councillors and would-be PMs walk by showing their support for (and raking votes from) the queer community. The South Asian float was kinda disappointing. They drove by too fast and everyone seemed too self-obsessed. The drag queens were prancing as usual. No one reached out to the crowds. No one paused and smiled.

Yonge St has officially turned into a zoo. A quick foray into the gay village revealed utter chaos - it was packed with curb-to-curb people. A hasty retreat and a much need meal at Biryani House wrapped up a long and tiring weekend of festivities for me. The parties will go on into tomorrow but I'm done. I have over a thousand pictures to sift through.

Through all this craziness, I managed to find time to buy a condo! Yes - I am soon to be the owner of a nice condo on Bay St. It took a little haggling but we finally agreed on a price and the deal is done! We close August 1st, after which I have to decorate and move in. So much to do - so little time.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Polite Cities

According to a Readers' Digest survey, Toronto is the 3rd most polite city in the world, after NYC and Zurich. Yes - NYC!!! Seems lopsided, doesn't it? They also ranked Montreal pretty low on the list, which is the complete opposite of my experience.

As big cities go, Toronto is unusually polite. Zurich I can understand, but we were beaten by New York??? New York????? Give me a break.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Condo Hunting

Inspired by my tryst with real estate two weeks ago, I called an agent and saw some condos this weekend. It's nice to see places and actually get time to think about them - unlike when I bought in DC where the sharks would start circling even before the "For Sale" sign went up.

My search began two blocks down from my current place on Bay St. Very nice building but the lobby felt like a fancy hotel. The unit was bright, spacious with a newly installed, gorgeous, dark wood floor. The walls were freshly painted a cheerful shade of yellow. A nice surprise was a large storage room right by the entrance. The kitchen and bathrooms looked spanking new but the design was more 90s.

After seeing a couple of nice, but dated, "Golden Girl" units around the St. Lawrence market area, we moved on to the RIchmond/Spadina area. First building looked quite modern but gave off a weird vibe. The build quality looked poor and the windows hadn't been washed in over a year. The unit turned out to be a 1+den, and decorated on a scrappy budget. Horrible. Next one was a really stylish building on the corner of Richmond & Spadina. The unit was in good condition, however looking out from the 4th floor, it felt like I could reach out and touch the Spadina streetcars. The noise was ok with windows closed, but unbearable with them open. Although the price was attractive, can you really put a price on peace-of-mind? That was it for Sunday.

Today took us to another unit on Richmond W. A real loft with 12' ceilings and exposed ductwork. Bright, spacious, modern and sexy. The condo reeked of money and man. You could smell the testosterone in the air. It was the kind of place that makes you want to just get naked, lie down and scream "take me"!! The space could totally work for me ;) Except one problem - huge redecoration effort - all my furniture/accessories would be horribly out of place. It's also a mixed-use building (a quick walk down the hallway revealed a modeling agency) - which mean strangers have free access to the building during the day. Not cool for security.

On we went to Radio City - a spanking new, high-rise complex that came up last year by the gay village. We walked past scores of rainbow flags draped across balconies, fags wearing rainbow Tees and a lesbian concierge to the 15th floor unit with southwest views of the financial district and the CN tower. Other than the views, and the gas-cooking (a rarity in condos), the unit was disappointing. That wrapped up another day of condo-viewing.

So which one will it be? I think you can guess. Stay tuned!

Blogging

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Home

Sometime during my inebriated bar-hopping last night, I stumbled upon a "For Sale" sign outside an imposing attractive looking townhouse between Yonge & Church Streets - steps from the village. I joked to my friends that this would be a house worth keeping a high-stress job for. I guess they were sober enough to point out that there would be an open house today.

So this afternoon, on I went through the ornate, wrought iron gates into what turned out to be a cozy little courtyard of townhouses. The stone steps led to pretty front porches with flower planters and a very homely atmosphere. The house turned out to be a relatively new, beautiful 4-level townhome with a 2-car garage. Well laid out, bright, airy with 1800 sq.ft. of space to go around. All of the asking price of $639K, soon to be "reduced substantially". Now before anyone croaks, let me put this in perspective. A 2-bedroom, 1200 sq.ft. condo in a good building in Toronto will set you back by at least $450K, not to mention monthly maintenance. Considering the location, size and ambience, this house seemed like heaven. It brought back memories from my place in Virgina. Back then, I used to joke that if I could transplant my townhouse from the suburbs into the middle of DC, I'd never leave. This house seemed like just that. Barely two blocks away from my current place, it seemed like an oasis of seclusion and comfortable living. Happy, domestic thoughts came back.

I could afford this place if I rented out one or two of the bedrooms. It would still be steep, but not much more than I'm paying in rent right now. However, houses come with a lot of maintenance. Am I ready for the responsibilities again? What about my 6-month vacation plans? What if I find myself out of a job? Do I really need a place this big? Am I ready for domestic life again?

In a way, I feel lighter right now not having to worry about home maintenance. I write one check a month and that covers everything. I call maintenance if the door sticks. I can choose put my things in storage, leave this place and go away if I wanted. There's a sense of freedom. However, that house felt right. It felt good. It felt like I belonged. It woke up something inside of me.

Life is full of difficult decisions and most of mine have been impulsive ones. However, in this case, I'm going to let discretion win. I am going to step aside and let someone else make it their home. Sigh.